Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
