YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
