Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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