In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dignity is for republicans.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
