he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
