STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
