I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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