I'm gonna have a badass scar
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
