My friends, they love my intelligence
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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