cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
