On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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