I think i sorta joined a cult last night
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
