Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

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(407): View more from Florida

I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.

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(631): View more from New York

You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.

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(317): View more from Indiana

i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex

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25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
Read it at the TFLN blog
(608): View more from Wisconsin

it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"

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(850): View more from Florida

We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles

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(516): View more from New York

Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM

(973): View more from New Jersey

I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.

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