I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Holy sore nipples Batman
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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