Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just pee around me
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird