am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
