I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
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Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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