Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
