The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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