can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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