Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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