We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
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Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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