he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
