he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You need Xanax blowdarts
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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