If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
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A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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