She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
