Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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