what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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