Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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