Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
