Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
