I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
