I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
