Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
