I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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