member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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