This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
