Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
