Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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