I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i came on her dog
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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