Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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