Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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