ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
