I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
time to smoke my breakfast
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
