So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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