I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
