Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
