watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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