jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
