Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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