We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
