Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Less talking, more tequila
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
