yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
