You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
