she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
