no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
