I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
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I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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