My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
