i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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