super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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