apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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