It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i dont even know how to be here
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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