Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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