i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
