At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize