he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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