And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
