I CAN MOONWALK!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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