i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
