That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize