You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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