lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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