Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
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Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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