wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
